how do you define "sexuality"... do you mean the socialized behaviors and mannerisms that remind us of having sex? do you mean gay, straight, bisexual, queer, transgender, questioning, intersex--sexuality? Let me guess, you thought everyone was heterosexual, including me? What the hell do you mean by "constructed?" To build something? to make something? Like making love? like sexual energy being constructed by your eyes meeting mine in a darkened room, your mouth opening as if to say something...

how did you construct your sexuality? i'll give you a minute to think. do you believe that you were born the way you are now, OR did something happen that was so beautiful it made your heart and your breath stop or something so horribly traumatic it took years to recover from the depths of denial and more years after that to heal from the opened wounds...

It was those very things that shaped and moved your desires one way OR the other. Have you ever deconstructed your desires for the other? Have you ever wondered what made you desire what you desire? Have you ever thought that perhaps the person who you think desires you could perhaps be only an ILLUSION? what would you do if you knew the truth? would you be crushed by your ego so hard that you would want to lash out at someone or something?

..postmodern imaging of sexuality being constructed for the camera to record in all its superficial spontaneity

...Sexuality being constructed for some gullible trick to throw down $700 that he doesn't have for two hours of my time that never ever results in anything but the illusion of sex.

Did you know that that was even possible? Or did you really believe everything you saw on the TV screen was real?

In this image I am just faking this ecstasy. I am a professional faker. This is not my boyfriend, he was just a model. I just met him that morning. We are both fully clothed and I'm doing one of my classic fake porn star faces...I confess, I tried to sleep with him later thinking that he wouldn't dare turn me down but he refused me. So I'm even more convinced of the constructed nature of my mortal powers. This has happened to me more than once. I'm sure it's happened to you too. Money cannot buy everything or everybody. Money cannot buy all sex. Sex cannot control everything or everybody. (but money and sex do control A LOT of things). And besides, haven't you heard--

It's not about sex, it's about power.

Sexuality, or the construction or deconstruction of sexuality, rather, is something that I have learned. Or maybe it was nature and I nurtured it. Sexuality does not have as much power as many think it does, and yet it has so much power at the same time. Sexuality is something I have learned to construct for aesthetics, for art, for profit, and sometimes for personal gain, but I have also lost. I have lost a lot. but it is from these losses that my sexuality was constructed and reconstructed and continues to evolve...

no flash?? alright, click here...